Ian’s Bio

So much has happened in these past few years, I’m not the same person anymore. I still remember my old self, however it’s more like a dream or as if it had happened to somebody else or from a movie. This has been very difficult for me to write about, I’ll be honest. Other aspects of our program, the non-personal details and information, have been much easier to lay-out, but reconciling my past with who I am now is proving to be more of a challenge than I thought. well, here goes….one more time.

I know who and what I am now, no doubt in my mind that I’m here in this body to live, love, and learn. To make the impossible possible, to face my fears, do the hard things, and to take steps in my life to reflect who I really am, the presence that is looking out from behind my eyes, the real me. I could stop there; I really believe now that it’s just that simple. However, although simple in principal, living for me, being the person I know to be true is a daily effort…so I do my best to stay present, to take it one-day-at-a-time, step-by-step, and try not get too wrapped up in the details as I go.

My typical days consists of a few to several hours of work-related tasks, one to two hours of kitchen duty, walks with our dogs, house chores, yoga (asanas), and at least forty minutes of meditation. I really didn’t expect to be in the kitchen so much but preparing all our [organic] food from scratch, including for our dogs, is very time consuming, batch cooking helps. I find working alone in the kitchen to be very calming and meditative, and I often look forward to it. This is quite the contrast from my old life of eating out, shopping for processed food, drinking, and allowing the stress of my family and life to get the better of me. For the most part I’ve been able to let a lot of the stress and hurt go, to not dwell or get caught-up in the drama thrown in my face every day, although at times it can be a bit much to stay present for all my old triggers. Without having meditation in my life, I feel that most of all I do would be very difficult, and I’d be missing the whole point anyway.

My meditation practice has come along quite nicely in the past few years. I had first learned to meditate in 2012 but it took some years and teacher training before I was able to make it a daily habit.  What I’ve learned about myself has been astonishing. If you check my meditation page you can read about meditation in general, but briefly what it’s taught me is that I’ve spent my whole life before now on autopilot. Always somewhere else in my mind, ruminating over the past, and/or waiting for the next “thing” to come along to make me happy, the next new watch, gadget, everything material, but never coming to understand I have everything I need to be happy right now, this is where my life is…now. Through the practice of meditation, I learned how to awaken to my life, to see times when I drift away and how to pull myself back. I can more easily recognize deviations in my thoughts, where they came from, why, and how to redirect the dialogue in my head to avoid meltdowns, panic, fear, and depression. At times I still get frustrated, and I suspect I always will, but the difference is that now it’s almost always very short-lived, and I’m keenly aware of what is happening to me; I can choose how I want to respond instead of always over-reacting or lashing out. Life seems much less hectic and frightening now; meditation and healthy living has helped me achieve a new clarity in my life that I never thought possible. I now mainly see the possibilities in my life, as opposed to always focusing strictly on the obstacles and fears.

Now I prefer to see everything that comes into my life as a learning and growing experience. At times I seek these out, often pointing myself like a compass towards the uncomfortable. I really believe that the challenges and fears we face offer the most growth potential possible. There is a saying that life begins at the edge of your comfort zone, and there isn’t anything I believe in more. Some years ago, I dragged myself into Toastmasters (kicking and screaming), afraid of talking and being in groups, but now I crave it. I was even a substitute teacher for a time, just for the experience. My lifestyle now has helped me confidently approach new things with a sense of curiosity and adventure, instead of with fear and apprehension.

A lot of this sounds perhaps as I think I have everything figured out, not at all. This was a 180-degree switch from where I was for sure, but life is still life, and I’m still in a human body here to learn. My family still gets to me at times of course, or I might have a latent fear creep in, however if I’m being very mindful of what is happening and how my triggers may be affected, this often alleviates any negative repercussions that may have ruined a perfectly good day in the past.

While working to stay mindful, to stay in the present, we naturally must invest some time and attention towards the future. The difference however is that we don’t live predominately in the future, we don’t use things and the future as tools to make us happy…be happy now, be happy today. With that said, in the coming years we are looking towards building a right living retreat, in a natural setting, where couples and others can learn how to immerse themselves in a healthy lifestyle. We are working out the components and building our classes, it’s going to be (and has been) so exciting to set all of this up and to help as many people as we can. Check back often as we will be developing our classes and offerings through 2020.

For now, Joy and I are both available as educators, Joy has a good client program built and is working in a clinical fashion to help others with their auto-immune issues, lab testing, shopping, and other food-related choices. I’m continuing to educate myself on mindfulness approaches, lots of reading, and, well, more self-exploration as I build my meditation and mindfulness classes for this spring.

We’re really looking forward to meeting you very soon… Please if any of this hits home, anything at all on our entire site, please get in touch with us, we want to help and be a part of your journey to wellness. Just to note, meditation and therapy in my life helped me realize, awaken, and start to work through issues such as the manifestations resulting from narcissistic abuse. If you are experiencing abuse or other traumas in your life, please seek help as well from a licensed professional and/or contact the authorities.